Glass half full or half empty?

Today I ventured outside for a walk in the sunshine.....nothing remarkable about that except it was the first time for 4 weeks!! I enjoy walking and for a considerable number of years it has been part of my life, so needless to say, I have REALLY missed it!

After experiencing a wonderful 4 weeks overseas recently, since returning home 4 weeks ago......I have been sick....unwelcome, unexpected and very frustrating!  I don't think there is anything special about the number 4??  But maybe I'm missing something!

It has been with great relief over the past couple of days to start to feel as though I might be getting better.  Sickness is horrible in all its shapes and forms, and yet it happens to most of us at some point in our lives in various ways.

One would have thought - great chance to catch up on all the reading I want to do!  Sadly, didn't even have the energy to do much of that - and I love to read!  So the last few weeks has been a lot of just doing nothing.....and I don't think I'm very good at that......but obviously my body just needed rest...and lots of it!

It's interesting to me how your thought life kind of 'takes off' when you doing nothing! I guess that's because that's all you're doing.  You have great ideas and thoughts about all sorts of things, what you'd like to do, where you'd like to go, what challenge you'd like to tackle....and so forth.....but when that all gets too exhausting....you just roll over and go back to sleep.....AGAIN!!

However, with a prolonged sickness can also come sadness, loneliness, depressive feelings and just feeling 'down' about life in general.....and it has been no different for me.....so it has been a real challenge some days to do something about those feelings. Added to those feelings for me now is also......what if I get really really ill? Who is going to look after me when I get old??
So what do I do?  For me, it has to be reading The Word and prayer.  Not prayer as in long, fancy sentences......but just simply.....'help me Lord, make me strong again.....Amen.'

As with anything in life, we are always faced with choices.  Being sick is no different......hence the title.....Glass half full or half empty?  If I am honest, my natural character traits would tend towards the glass half empty, so I have to work hard at not being that way.
Tony was a great example to me in this in that he was the glass half full kind of guy.  Over the years I learnt so much from him!

This time I've had confined to the house (big dose of cabin fever) has also made me think so much about those that suffer with prolonged, chronic, terminal type illnesses and conditions, and how THANKFUL I am that I am not in that situation, because at the end of the day......it could easily be me.....why not me?  I am so grateful to God for my health and strength, and even though I don't have a big amount of it right now, I can look forward to getting it back.  There are countless people out there who don't have that privilege.

My thoughts have naturally drifted to Tony over this time and how he suffered, how he hated what was happening to him, how he longed to get out and about and do the things he loved to do but couldn't.
I feel challenged.......did I do all I could for him?  What more could I have done?  I have to deal with those questions in my own way and with the Lord's help I will.

So what to do with the challenge?  And I guess that's the reason for this blog - are we (me included) all doing what we can in caring for our family and friends who are sick or confined to their house or bed? I have been touched by phone calls from a couple of elderly widows in my community who have health issues of their own, but just wanted to call me, say 'Hi' and encourage me.
And I am so grateful for family who care about me and for the friends who have taken the time to phone or call in........everything is appreciated!

So back to the glass half full thing!  I think these last 4 weeks have taught me quite a bit in this regard. I have much to be thankful for, even in the midst of feeling rotten, compared to countless people out there who are really suffering.......the kind of suffering I know nothing about.

The mind is such a powerful thing, I guess that's why we hear so much teaching about it - in the church and in the secular world.  The Word says.....be transformed by the renewing of your mind....

World renown Bible teacher Joyce Meyer has taught and wrote much about this subject.  Just before I left on my trip at the end of May, a close friend sent me something that I'd like to leave with you today (thank you Jude).
It is taken from Joyce Meyer's 'Renewing your mind and transforming your life by developing power thoughts' teachings.  12 really great statements to meditate on..............

1.   I can do whatever I need to do in life through Christ.
2.   God loves me unconditionally.
3.   I will not live in fear.
4.   I am difficult to offend and quick to forgive.
5.   I love people and I enjoy helping them.
6.   I trust God completely, there is no need to worry.
7.   I am content and emotionally stable.
8.   God meets all my needs abundantly.
9.   I pursue peace with God, myself and others.
10. I live in the present and enjoy each moment.
11. I am disciplined and self-controlled.
12. I put God first in my life.

If I can get all these things happening in my life........the glass will always be half full.....ha!!

Till next time..........................................

The Lemon Tree

I recently put a photo of a bowl of lemons on my face book page - which resulted in a few interesting comments.  There's nothing remarkable about a bowl of lemons except in this case, they came from my own little lemon tree and I was quite excited about it, particularly as I love lemons!
But it's got me thinking! You see, this little lemon tree is the most unlikely looking tree to produce anything.  We planted it 3 years ago and it has remained the same since then.  No obvious signs of growth, in fact, at times it looked like it was dying!

Admittedly, the soil here is very sandy so it was probably a big ask expecting it to thrive.  We dug a very big hole ( for a little plant ) and put lots of compost in thinking we'd give it the best start in life we could.
Now I am not one of those people who have "green fingers".  Sure, I like the garden to look nice and I can weed and trim, but I'm no expert and I don't have the passion to spend hours out there.  I can grow lettuces and spinach - but then anyone can do that!

But back to the lemon tree.  Of course I watered it (on and off) and pulled threatening weeds out from round its little trunk from time to time, but other than that, I have done nothing......other than at times wondering if I should pull it out!
So to now have picked over a dozen lovely lemons off this little tree has been a welcome surprise to say the least!

During the hours of last night when sleep was elusive, I got to thinking about my lemon tree and realized there is a great analogy to be drawn here.
This little tree has very determinedly stuck to what it was created to do - produce lemons - in spite of not being obviously healthy or thriving.  So how has it done that?

It would be very interesting to slice through a section of the earth around where it is planted and have a look at its root structure. It must have sent out little feelers all over the place to find nutrients, because I doubt very much whether there would much around the immediate area where it's planted.
So in spite of no obvious growth in the tree itself, there is a life system inside that must be strong and a lot more vigorous than is obvious to the eye.

It's strange but somehow I feel an infinity to this little tree.  We (Tony and I ) planted it together soon after moving into this home and at a time when the Parkinsons Disease was really kicking in.  So now 3 years on with it producing the way it has, it has got me thinking about my inner state - how healthy is it, what am I producing, how strong is my root structure?

So often in this world we are too concerned with the outward appearance when what really matters is the state of our heart and the strength of our foundations.

It could almost be said that this little tree is growing in desert like conditions (the soil is almost that bad!)
I read something recently about grief being a desert experience.

'Can it be true that the riches of life that we need can be found in the desert - a place that symbolizes loneliness? Yes, God knows our need for a desert experience. He knows exactly where and how to produce enduring qualities in us. What a loving God we have!  We never know where God has hidden His streams. We see a large stone and have no idea that it covers the source of a spring.  We see a rocky area and never imagine that it is hiding a fountain.  God leads me into hard and difficult places and it is there I realize I am where eternal streams abide.'  (from Streams in the Desert)

How important is it for us to stay connected to the Source of Life!!

Something else I read recently that really made me take notice related to being a widow (really don't like that word!).  The fact is - women whose husbands die lose 75% of their friendships, 60% experience health issues, one third are clinically depressed one year later and most face financial hardship.  My goodness - this is sobering!

But the amazing thing is - God cares so much about widows He mentions them over 100 times in Scripture!  He's a 'defender of widows' Psalm 85:5.   He 'watches over and sustains them' Psalm 146:9 .....are just two examples.

So what is the connection from the lemon tree.....to the desert.......to being a widow?
Good question!

The challenge for me - and maybe for someone else reading this -  is in my desert experience what am I producing?  Am I determinedly standing firm on my foundations and thereby producing what I have been designed to produce even if it is taking longer than I'd like?  Or am I allowing my desert experience - in my case being a widow - to make me another sad statistic?

And can I just say........well I can as it's my blog...ha!  If you have widows in your family or circle of friends....include them, love them, encourage them!  Ask them how their lemon tree is growing?  Ha!

Till next time...........