Fathers, Grandfathers, Family........

Late last year my father passed away suddenly. Even though he was 83, it came as a shock to us all. Sure, there had been signs of aging, but I honestly thought we would have him with us for a few more years - and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him!

My Dad was a 'go to' person......not just for family but for very many people from all walks of life. He was a strong leader in family, church, community and business. He was the old fashioned type - where hard work, commitment, loyalty and being true to your word was paramount. That along with his faith in God was how he lived his life.

He was also very much a family man, and as I grew older I took great pleasure in seeing him with his grandchildren and in recent years his great grandchildren. 

I am very pleased for him that he is now in heaven, free from pain, free from living in a body that was wearing out, and that he is enjoying that place of perfect peace and rest with his Lord. But I am sad for me, for my kids and my grandkids.

Dad has been the one person in my close family circle that really understood a lot of what I have been feeling these past few years. He too lost his spouse when my Mum died in 2002. There is no substitute for personal experience, and while I have family and friends who have walked through deep grief - and I don't mean to lessen their experience in anyway - losing your life's partner is different again.

I knew that Dad knew how I was feeling and what I was struggling with. We kept in touch by phone regularly and would visit as we were able. He was always concerned with how I was doing and would always ask after all my kids.

So now that both he and Mum have gone.....it's a strange feeling. There are times I would so LOVE to be able to talk to them. I am sad for my kids. I know how much they loved Dad and enjoyed it when he was around. He definitely fitted the 'patriarch' role model for our family.

So now the challenge is to move forward into another season of life. For me - I have lost 2 very strong men in my life. Two men who have had a profound influence on me and who I am as a person. I am very grateful to both of them for all they taught me and I believe I am a better person for it. 

So again.....I turn to the Lord for my strength, for wisdom, and allow His peace to saturate my heart knowing that all will be well.

I take a huge amount of joy watching my grandsons.......especially their interaction with their fathers.

My son in law Jonty is a great daddy to his 2 boys and they love him to bits. My son Heath is a new daddy...but I can see the love he has for his son and the way he talks to their little baby and the relationship that is already established......he too is a great daddy.......it brings such joy to my heart. I think the present and future generations of fathers and men in our family is looking good!

    My grandsons............

         

                                                    Owen (3 & 1/2) and Toby (19 months)

                                       

                                         

                                                                   Bodhi (2 months)

Family are so precious. Relationships are to be cared for and nurtured - even when it's hard work. Taking the time to be together, to celebrate the big occasions and the not so big, creating memories. Establishing a family culture and traditions. It all takes time and effort - but it's so worth it!

I remember family holidays when I was a little girl at Lake Rotoiti. The swimming, learning to row a dinghy, the hot pools, Dad and his friends water skiing, the trips in the boat at night in the dark! The fun, the friends, the favourite bays on the lake. All that established something in me and my siblings that we still love to this day. In fact, next week we are having a family holiday at that same lake. My sister Suzanne and brother Steve and I have all rented houses, and along with all our families - well almost all of them -  and a couple of boats we are heading off! I'm sure there will be lots of memories made.......can't wait!

Till next time................

New Seasons

I was quite alarmed recently when I realised it is well over a year since I wrote on this blog! It has made me seriously think again about this 'writing' thing, and while it is something I enjoy and would like to devote more time to, I seem to be struggling with the discipline to make it happen!

Last week I was encouraged - and challenged - to get back into it from an unexpected source. An acquaintance had stumbled onto my blog and kindly wrote to me encouraging me to keep writing......saying they had been 'blessed' by reading it. These kind of comments always surprise me, but are also humbling and as I said, encouraging.

Anyway, it was the gentle nudge I needed and every day since then the urge to 'write' has been simmering away.......it's just a matter of GETTING AROUND TO IT!!

As with my past blogs, I have tended to write about what I am facing or dealing with 'at the moment'. There were a couple of major events in my life last year which I will write about but not this time....ha!

This being January, my thoughts have turned towards New Year Resolutions etc. I'm not really big on these. I tend to think more about goals to focus on and ideas I want to put into practise. 

We have been challenged with some teaching at our church this month regarding New Year resolutions. Often they are centred around ourselves - our wants, needs and desires. But the challenge was to ask ourselves the question "what breaks your heart?".......and then from the answer to that question form a resolution or a goal as we move forward into the new year.

While I can think of things that break my heart, I am still pondering what to do about it from a personal aspect. There are many 'things' you can do and get involved in. So for me right now the question must also be asked.......what is the Lord saying to me in all of this?

I hope and pray I get some clarity soon as February is fast approaching!!

February 2016 is a memorable month for me. On the 14th I will be having a 'significant' birthday!

Notice I didn't say 'celebrating'! They say 'it's just a number'.......but really? 

I will enjoy getting together with family and a few friends to mark the occasion but if I'm honest.....I have very mixed emotions about this one.

I am looking forward to having candles and cake with my grandsons though!

Speaking of grandsons........I now have 3 of those!

On December 5th we welcomed the arrival of Bodhi Johnson, born to my son Heath and his wife Courtney. What a precious gift! I am so thankful to the Lord for his safe arrival, and am very excited with the thought that I now have 3 grandsons. What an incredible blessing to our family. 

                         

                                                     Bodhi  - taken at 6 weeks old.

While this year marks a significant birthday for me, it is also the start of a new season in my life where I am living on my own for the first time. I have been a widow now for over 4 years, but during this time have had the blessing of Heath and Courtney living with me.....well...in the flat on the ground floor of my home. Then when little Bodhi arrived in December it was a real treat to be able to see him everyday!

Recently however, they have moved to their own place - which is a good thing for them. I am very happy seeing them set up their own home, and it's great they are only a few minutes drive away.

So once again, I have found myself adjusting to a new season of life.  I know living alone is the norm for millions of people, but until it happens to you, you don't really know how you're going to feel and cope.

It's early days for me, and there's still a lot of adjusting going on in my thoughts and emotions......but the GREAT thing is .....I KNOW the Lord is with me.....as He has always been and always will be.

So now for 2016! New season. New opportunities. New challenges. New goals. 

Maybe it's time to let go of old habits and push myself out of my comfort zone into new and different disciplines? What does that look like? 

What breaks my heart? What can I do that will make a difference?

What can I do that will have lasting value.....that will make a difference for eternity?

BIG questions!! But so important!

I wonder how you are going with these questions?

Sometimes we just need to ask ourselves the hard questions and have the courage to actually go after the answers.

So all the best with your dreams, desires, goals and resolutions for this year.

May you be blessed in the name of Jesus!

Till next time...........