Well today is the day! I have been thinking of starting a blog for so long...... and now today, I am finally getting on to it - with the help of my daughter in law Courtney, I must add!
For years I have written a personal journal, dabbled in a little writing of articles, poems and a few songs and always enjoyed it. Something inside me wants to do more with it - but what?
Who would want to read it? Do I really have anything to write about that is of value?
In answering my own questions - I think how I always enjoy reading other people's stories, everyone has a story after all. So I don't imagine I'm that different to others, if I enjoy reading people's stories - someone out there might enjoy reading mine! More than that though, I really hope and pray my story may encourage someone else in their journey, maybe bring a smile and plant a seed of hope in someone's heart. I know as I have journeyed through my life, I have often drawn strength, joy and hope from reading the words written from another's heart.
My one major regret today however, is that I didn't start this a couple of years ago. At that time I was struggling to care for my husband Tony, who had an aggressive form of Parkinson's Disease. This condition had invaded our lives as an unwelcome intruder and had turned our lives upside down as we struggled to cope with it's devastating affects on his body. Then nearly 18 months ago my life took another huge 'u turn' as I dealt with his sudden death from a cardiac arrest - he was only 58!
Needless to say, the last few years of my life have been an emotional roller coaster that I have been riding, unable to get off but just hanging on, trying to cope with all that has been happening to me.
During this time I was never able to quite connect with anyone else who was on the same roller coaster - although I'm sure there are many people out there.
Of course I had family and friends who have supported me and stayed close, and for that I am very grateful. But most of all I can honestly say my relationship with God has grown and deepened. The Bible says that He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother - and I've found that to be true! He is always there for me - whether I am happy, sad, lonely, desperate, lost, in pain, angry, overwhelmed - whatever the emotion of the moment - I know my God is with me, and for that I am eternally grateful!
I have 2 main reasons for starting this blog. Firstly that it will help me develop some writing skills, and secondly and more importantly, that it will help and encourage someone else who maybe walking a difficult road. I realize in writing my thoughts and feelings comes a feeling of vulnerability - of revealing my heart - but sometimes with that also comes a healing. So here goes!!
Last year 2012, was a huge year for me. The first year of being single again, even just saying that sounds strange after being married for 36 years! But back to last year - so much happened in my family. My eldest daughter Vanessa (in Australia) was without work for quite a few months - which was a very difficult time for her and my heart was to support her as much as I could. My second daughter Natasha and her husband Jonty celebrated the birth of their first child - a little boy - but he came 6 weeks premature! So that was quite an journey for us all! Then my son Heath got married to his American sweetheart at the end of the year in the States - which the whole family travelled to attend.
I am very happy to say that now, May 2013, all is well with my family. Vanessa is in a job she loves. My grandson Owen, who is nearly a year old, is doing wonderfully well, and Heath and Courtney are happily married and living in NZ! God is good!!
So what now? I guess the name of my blog 'Where to from here?' kind of sums up how I'm feeling about my life at the moment. There is a sense of anticipation in my spirit that there is something up ahead for me that will be good. Not that there aren't good things happening now - I so LOVE my family and my little grandson - but I suspect there is more. God is good like that!
I am soon to embark on some travel - which I guess is another reason to 'blog' - I will have lots to write about I'm sure. Having said that, I don't want it to be 'just another travel blog'. I really hope and pray I can weave into it some of what I am learning as I journey through this thing called Grief.
So till next time.............
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